#cklife: my grief story part 2
The next day after losing my father was harder than the first day. After dragging myself out of bed after not sleeping all night I was incomplete shock that my father was no longer living on this earth with me, which just broke my heart all over again. I wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming questions that me and my sister would be asked, it was too much to handle because understandably the number one question was What happened? How did he die? Over the next couple of days I didn’t feel like talking to anyone or doing anything all I did was just lay around and cry.
Unfortunately that couldn’t last long because we had to start planning my dad’s funeral with the help of our grandfather-our dad’s beneficiary and we all planned our final goodbye and it was the hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with. The other hard part during this time was knowing that his “wife” was lying and still not being truthful about what happened.
Our father’s funeral was August 8, 2014 about a week later after he passed away. It was a beautiful service filled with his friends, family, and loved ones. It was almost impossible for me and my sisters to keep it together while seeing our dad laying in a casket, he looked good-considering, but it was so real knowing we would never spend anymore time together in this life.
When we arrived at the grave site I had terrible anxiety because I know what was to come, they were going to lower him in the ground and that would be it. After the reverend was done speaking I throw my last rose onto the casket as they lowered my dad’s body in the ground, I couldn’t even cry. I was just in shock that it’s over now. I left the grave site more hurt and confused than ever.
We all arrived at the repast and it was just what my dad would have wanted it was good food, liquor, music and laughs with family and friends. We all celebrated his life and for a quick second my sadness went away for a little bit but it was short-lived. I went home after that and resumed crying all night long…
Part 3 coming soon!